


Wrecks

by secretagentfan



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:10:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretagentfan/pseuds/secretagentfan
Summary: Walking disasters Ludger and Jude pull an all-nighter and make a snow cat. College AU.Written for optieteri on tumblr for the TalesofSecretSanta2018.





	Wrecks

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!!!! < 3
> 
> My entire Jude/Ludger aesthetic for this fic can be boiled down to this image:  
> https://imgur.com/gallery/vi7ccPi

      Ludger pressed his snow-filled hands together and squeezed hard enough for him to feel the ice through his gloves. Some of the snow combined into tiny clumps and the rest powdered, silently falling to the bench he was sitting at. He watched this process with the kind of intense interest found only in the truly half-asleep.

      It was 4:30 am.

_How did I get here?_

      Ludger sighed.

      It wasn’t the biggest sigh of his life, by any means—not even close—but it was still fairly heavy, and with it was the knowledge that even if he made the trek back to his dorm now, he’d probably only be able to catch half hour of sleep before having to get ready for work again.

      No point. At least the decision was easy to make. Ludger rubbed his eyes, enjoying the shock of cold against his eyelids. The couple hours of sleep he unintentionally grabbed in the library should be plenty. Theoretically.

      Ludger made himself stand up off the bench he was resting on. On impulse, he stuck a finger in the ground, measuring the snow. It was a solid 3 inches. Yeah, he was definitely not going anywhere.

      He remembered his phone and checked his messages. 4 texts from Elle, 1 from Julius. They were both at home. Ludger wishes he were there, but since his original attempt at college from home resulted in a very fake degree and a very real debt he would be paying off for the rest of his life—he wasn’t about to try and take the online route again.

His texts from Elle read:

 

_It’s snowing!_

_We’re making a snowman without you_

_You can’t join, even if you want, because you need to study. Ha ha_

_We tried to make it look like Rollo but it didn’t work…_

      Julius’s text was just a picture of Elle. She was grinning and sitting in the snow next to…something. Closer inspection revealed it to be a malformed snowman. She was wearing a pink snowsuit she ordered Ludger to buy last winter—Ludger was surprised it still fit. He’d buy her a new one if he could.

      …Ludger sighed again. This time, it was definitely a heavy one.

      He took a photo of the snow and texted it quickly to Elle.

_Looks good. It’s snowing here too._

      After a minute, his phone buzzed. He blinked, and checked the new text from Elle.

_Ludger. This is Julius. Go to bed._

      “You’re up too…” Ludger mumbled, like Julius could hear him and blatantly ignored his brotherly advice.  He looked at the snow on the ground. “Rollo, huh…”

      He breathed, and got on his knees, bunching some snow together in a vague round shape. Might as well.

      Shit, Ludger was  _tired._

      “Are you okay, sir?”

      Ludger looked up. A student in a lab coat was staring at him, his eyebrows drawn together.  He was rubbing one of his arms.

      “Huh?”

      Ludger tilted his head, leaning back to reveal the beginnings of a snow Rollo. The student stopped rubbing his arm.

      “Oh. You were…”

      “Am I in your way?” Ludger asked, trying very hard to still look like a grown man. He regretted this; being a grown man actually made the 4am snowman making just a little worse.

      “No. Not at all. Sorry! I thought you fell. I’m Jude— Hypothermia is no joke!” the student announced and then promptly winced, running a hand through his dark hair. “That was weird to say. I’m a doctor. Well, will be a doctor. I’m working on my PhD.”

      Ludger nodded, standing up to get a better look at Jude. He looked exhausted, with slight bags under his eyes. Ludger could relate. “I had guessed.”

      Jude blinked. “Really? Not many people peg me as a medical student. What gave me away?”

      “You’re in a lab coat.”

      “What? No—this is my…” Jude trailed off looking at his arm. Ludger’s fairly certain he saw a piece of his soul chip off. “…lab coat. Yes.”

      Ludger smiled as reassuringly as he could manage. “It’s okay, it’s late.”

      Jude smiled gratefully. “Would you happen to have the time? My phone is in my coat which is…”

      “…In the lab.” Ludger finished. Jude shut his eyes and nodded.

      “It’s just after 5:30.”

      “AM?” Jude asked.

      Ludger stared. Just how long had Jude been working? Was he  _okay_?

      “AM.” he confirmed, slowly.

      Jude actually winced.

      “Thank you,” he said. He turned around but stopped after a few steps. Ludger heard him mumble something like “Just 3 hours…” under his breath. The look in his eyes was pathetically recognizable.

      “You have an early class?”

      Jude’s shoulders slumped. “I was just thinking it probably isn’t worth it to go back home if I’ll just be heading back here.”

      “I had the same thought.”

      “So that’s why…” Jude gestured vaguely to the snow Rollo.

      “That’s why,” Ludger confirmed. “I’m Ludger.”

      “Jude,” Jude replied. “I’m a med st—I’ve already told you both those things.”

      Ludger laughed. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll be able to help a lot of people.”

      Something passed across Jude’s face for a moment. Indecision?

      “I thought so too. No, I think so too. Sorry.” His voice was quieter than before, and he quickly wiped his hands on his pants.

      Jude looked younger than your typical grad student, with wide eyes and hair a little too styled to be natural—but his exhaustion felt ancient.

      It also felt familiar. Ludger stepped aside, gesturing to the snowcat. “Need a break?”

      Surprise replaced the tension on Jude’s face, and he crossed his arms, mulling Ludger’s offer over like it was something more serious. Weighted. Maybe it was. “I…think I do. Thank you.”

      Ludger watched as Jude picked up a handful of snow and jammed it to his pile. It stuck out like a tumor, but they could always round it out.

      “I’m making this,” Ludger clarified, showing Jude the picture of Rollo on his phone.

      “Oh.” Jude replied. Oddly, his voice didn’t reflect a bit of surprise. “Good choice.”

_He’s just rolling with things now, isn’t he?_

      They worked in silence. Occasionally Jude or Ludger would sigh and check their watches, but for the most part they kept on the task at hand. Jude yawned, a loud tired sound, and then quickly apologized. Ludger only shook his head, before breaking into a yawn himself.

      Jude laughed, breaking the silence, finally. “…It’s a weird night, isn’t it?”

      “Yeah,” Ludger agreed, smiling. He glanced at Jude’s lab coat. “Are you okay?”

      Jude’s hands froze in position from where they were aimlessly patting Rollo’s excessive stomach. Ludger stopped, holding up his hands in return. The snow fell around them. They probably looked like idiots.

      “You don’t have to answer.”

      “No, it’s okay. It’s really nice of you to ask, actually. I’m fine.”

      Ludger nodded, and resumed adding more snow on top of Rollo’s body, not wanting to pressure Jude into continuing if he didn’t want to.

      Jude’s hands stayed where they were, however.

      “It’s just,” he started. Ludger nodded to show he was listening, and Jude seemed to relax a little. “Grad school is so different.”

      “Different?”

      “Competitive. I thought… It’s stupid. I come from a small town, and both my parents are doctors. I wanted to….follow their work, right? I thought grad school would finally be that step that would let me do my own research and…make waves, or something.”

      “It isn’t?”

      Jude sighed. “No. In big labs like this, everyone is just trying to get published. Anything to get their degree or funding. On some level I understand that. Labs need money to function but—it’s like they’ve forgotten why they’re trying to get their PhDs in the first place. A title and getting published doesn’t mean anything if no one is actually getting helped by it.”

      Jude tugged his hair once; it stuck up a little in a combination of snow and gel. He winced, and wiped his hand in his lab coat pocket. Ludger politely pretended not to see.

      “Sounds stressful.”

      “It is.” Jude mumbled. “And now I’m here. Sorry for dumping on you.”

      Jude smoothed his hair, self-consciously. Ludger wondered if he should tell him that it was sticking up all at one angle, or let Jude live in blissful ignorance.

      “It’s fine,” Ludger said. He picked up another armful of snow and dumped it on their now vaguely ovular snow blob.

      Jude watched him out of the corner of his eye as if to ask ‘no, really, are you  _sure_?’ Ludger only nodded once more, honestly unaffected.

      “You don’t have to be so hard on yourself. You can still go at your own pace, and learn what you need. If you do that, I’m sure you’ll make whatever waves you want. Don’t worry about everyone else.”

      Something on Jude’s face seemed to both crack and soften. He rubbed his eyes.

      “You’re…right. I feel a little better having talked about it too. Thank you, Ludger. You’re a good listener.”

      Ludger shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

      Jude smiled—it was the first genuine smile Ludger had seen from him. He looked older, strangely. More mature. His eyes, however, reminded Ludger of a housecat: warm and curious. 

      “Gosh, now I’m really embarrassed. I thought you were just a drunk grad-student passed out in the snow, but you’re actually really considerate.”

      “ _Drunk_!?” Ludger startled, a hand going to his chest. It was a fair assumption, but still— hey.

      “Sorry! It wasn’t true, clearly!”

      “Clearly.” Ludger repeated.

      Jude laughed, and Ludger managed to maintain a serious stare for a few seconds before cracking a small, awkward smile his way. The snow caught in their hair, but neither seemed to care.

      “I’m not a gradstudent, actually,” Ludger admitted.

      Jude’s smile froze, eyes abruptly empty.

      “Oh?” he offered, his voice noticeably going up in pitch.

      Ludger tilted his head and then immediately realized the problem. He backpedaled.

      “I’m not a professor either. Just in undergrad.”

      Jude looked like he might collapse in relief. He put his face in his hands. “Don’t scare me like that. I thought—for a second I thought I was venting to one of my future professors.”

      “No, no.” Ludger emphasized. “I’m just older, because…” he trailed off. He tried to find the words but couldn’t. He never had been good at talking about himself. “I was late. To college.”

      “It’s really admirable that you’re here now,” Jude announced without a second of hesitation. “I’m glad.”

      He spoke so easily, and with such inherent thoughtfulness, Ludger felt more at ease than he had in months.

      “Thank you,” he mumbled, and then promptly got to work on fixing snow Rollo’s face. Jude sat beside him, watching carefully.

      “You’re good at this. Like an ice sculptor.”

      The closest Ludger had ever been to becoming an ice sculptor was when he worked at the expensive mall downtown during their ice swan exhibit; he was dressed in a tight elf costume, and spent the majority of his time there pushing children down a candy-cane patterned slide. This was not the most flattering story to tell Jude, so Ludger only hummed a little in acknowledgement and finished carving out Rollo’s face.

      “It looks just like the picture, Ludger.”

      “Thanks to your help.”

      “No, no, this was all you. I have no knowledge of snow cat making.” Jude bowed his head, a modest smile on his face.

      “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Ludger joked, patting Jude once on his freezing shoulder. He pulled out his phone, taking a few steps back to get the ideal angle.

      Jude pulled his lab coat tighter around himself, watching him.

      “You’re documenting it?”

      Ludger felt his face flush, realizing he never really explained the reason for the Rollo snowman in the first place. He opened his texts and showed Jude the picture Julius sent of Elle and the snowman. “She’ll want to see.”

      Jude smiled. “She’s very cute. Is she yours?”

      There wasn’t a trace of judgment in his voice; no lecture ready on his tongue about Ludger’s youth, and impulse decisions—just genuine support. Ludger swallowed.

      “She’s my foster daughter. Sort of.” Ludger shook his head. “My brother’s with her now. It’s a complicated situation. Her father is missing, and I can’t…officially adopt her until we find out more information. She wouldn’t want that.”

      Jude put a hand on his shoulder, and Ludger glanced his way. He wasn’t aware he had been staring hard at the snow Rollo.

      “She’s still waiting for him to come back. It’s kind of a mess.” He rubs his eyes. “But she’s worth it. I try to send what I can her way. With school now though…”

      “You don’t have the money.”

      Ludger nodded, glad he didn’t have to say it. “I do what I can. Wish I could give her something new for once, though.”

      Jude looked at him, quiet and still. Ludger flushed instantly. “You’re easy to talk to, too.”

      Jude just smiled. “What’s her name?”

      “Elle.”

      “Got it. Hang on, Ludger,” he announced, abruptly, and then sat in the snow.

      “Jude?”

      Ludger stared, baffled, as Jude dug quickly in the ice in front of the snow Rollo. Snow stuck to his gloves and fell on the back of his neck. Ludger could see him shivering through his thin lab coat, but he didn’t even seem to care. 

      When Jude stood up, showing what he’d done, Ludger felt something swell in his chest. Written carefully in the snow was:

FOR ELLE

      Jude smiled.

      “Now all you have to do is sign it.”

      Ludger swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. “This isn’t…”

      “She’ll love it. Go on.”

      Ludger leaned down, and very carefully wrote, ‘FROM LUDGER’ in the snow.

      “You sign too, Jude.”

      “Are you sure? You did most of the work.“

      “It was your idea.” Ludger was firm. Jude laughed a little, and very carefully wrote ‘AND JUDE’ beside Ludger’s careful scrawl.

      Ludger took the photo and sent it off, proudly looking at their gift. The reply was immediate.

_I thought I told you to go to bed, Ludger._

      Ludger winced.

      “What is it?” Jude asked, looking over Ludger’s shoulder just as the next text came in.

_She’ll love it._

      Jude elbowed him. “See, what did I tell you?”   
      Ludger smiled his way. Another text.

_Who’s Jude? Should I know about thi—_

      Ludger pocketed his phone so quickly his hand practically blurred, cheeks hot.

      “Eh?” Jude asked. “What was that?”

      “Nothing Jude,” Ludger answered, quickly.  _Dammit Julius._

      Jude didn’t seem entirely ready to let it go, but the sight of Ludger unbuttoning his jacket seemed to distract him enough to let it go.

      “Ludger you don’t have to—“

      The jacket was placed on Jude’s shoulder’s faster than he could complain. He sniffed once, nose red from the snow.

      “You’ll get cold,” Jude warned, but pulled the jacket tight around himself, clearly grateful for the warmth.

      "It’s fine.”

      Jude smiled in a small secret way.

      “I’ll have to give this back to you later then, Ludger.”

      Ludger rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if the heat in his cheeks could be written off as hypothermia.

      “I guess you will.”

      Jude nudged Ludger, lightly. The snow built up and fell all around them, but Ludger hardly noticed.


End file.
